The Five Worst Movies of the Year

Now, I have to tell you about five of the worst movies of 2009. Sadly, I really didn't like every one of these terrible movies. I hope you never have to see these bad films. So here it goes (feel free to write a comment and tell me some I missed).

1. Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. PG-13

Why: Never before has a movie disappointed me so much as Transformers 2. The acting is terrible, the plot is terrible, the script is terrible, and the directing is terrible. There are a few laughs and maybe one cool fight scene but, it was way too long. It got boring. Really boring. I hope none of you have to see this.

Who: Michael Bay (director), Shia La Beouf (Sam Witwicky), Megan Fox (Mikaela Banes).

Where: It isn't in theaters anymore but it is out on DVD.

2. G. I. Joe Rise of Cobra PG-13

Why: This movie was almost as bad as Transformers 2 but, unlike Transformers, this script is filled to the brim with cheesy one-liners. It is poorly written and (like I said in my last post) everything relies on the script. You'd think if they could figure out how to destroy the Eiffel Tower with creepy green stuff, they could figure how to write a good script. The acting was mediocre and I think it was Dennis Quaid's worst performance of the year. I seriously hope this movie doesn't have a sequel or if there's a sequel I hope it'll be a good one so it can wash this horrible taste out of my mouth.
Who: Stephen Sommers (director), Channing Tatum (Duke Hauser), Marlon Wayans (Ripcord).
Where: It isn't in theaters anymore but it is out on DVD.

3.2012 PG-13
Why: This movie was terrible. The effects, don't get me wrong, were amazing, but, you can only see the ground crack and crumble so many times before it gets a little (scratch that, a lot) redundant. I had high hopes for this movie and I wish it had come a quarter of a way there to my expectations. I really liked Woody Harrelson but even he didn't come even close to my expectations. There is only about one good scene in the movie and I wish the movie would have been that good. I hope this isn't gonna happen because that would be terrible.
Who: John Cusack (Jackson Curtis), Amanda Peet (Kate Curtis), Chiwetel Ejiofor (Adrian Helmsley), Oliver Platt (Carl Anhuser), Woody Harrelson (Charlie Frost).
Where: It isn't in theaters anymore and it isn't out on DVD yet.

4.X-Men Origins: Wolverine PG-13
Why: Along with 2012 I had high expectations for this movie and (like 2012) it fell short. I loved the other X-Men movies and when I heard there was going to be a Wolverine solo movie, I got really excited. So I went, and walking out of the theater I thought it was ok. Then I thought about it more - the acting wasn't great, the writing wasn't great - it just didn't cut it for me. And I wait 'till the end of most movies so I can see the button (the little clip that's sometimes at the end of the credits). This movie had one of the worst buttons I've ever seen. I really hope the next installment of X-Men Origins is better than this one.
Who: Gavin Hood (director), Hugh Jackman (Logan a.k.a Wolverine), Liev Schreiber (Victor Creed a.k.a Sabertooth).
Where: Not in theaters out on DVD.

5. Knowing
Why: This movie was not anything that I thought it would be. I don't think that this movie should get any credit for anything. The movie all the way through was pretty boring. There was a terrible ending and I thought that it didn't make any sense. The opening is creepy and the whole movie alone is creepy. It's disturbing and disturbingly bad. I have been a fan of Nicolas Cage and this movie let me down a lot. I hope no one ever has to see this film.
Who: Alex Proyas (director), Nicolas Cage (John Koestler), Chandler Canterbury (Caleb Koestler)
Where: Not in theaters. Out on DVD.

So there you have it. My least favorite movies of 2009. Here's to a year of good movies. Happy New Year.

The Five Best Movies of the Year

New Year's Eve! For most people that means parties until midnight and a fresh start is coming. For me, it means I'll be here, telling you my favorite movies and my least favorite movies. So , the moment you've been waiting for - here are my favorite movies of 2009 (feel free to write comments and tell me some I missed).

1. District 9 R

Why :This is the only R rated film I've ever seen and I couldn't have asked for a better movie. It has so much more emotion than you'd expect from a sci-fi movie. The actors are amazing and I hope it wins for best picture of the year.

Who: Neil Blomkamp (director), Peter Jackson (producer), Sharlto Copley (Wikus Van De Merwe).

When: Not in theaters, just out on DVD.

2. Fantastic Mr. Fox PG

Why: This movie is my favorite animated movie of the year (yes I said it, Up wasn't my favorite) and for good reason. It's so fresh and new. George Clooney's voice perfectly fits his character as do the rest of the voices. Yes, I know, it's stop motion animation. And yes, I also know it wasn't in 3-D. But not all great movies have to be $100-$500 million. It's all in the script. And this movie is no exception. I hope this movie snags best animated movie of the year.

Who: Wes Anderson (director), George Clooney (Mr. Fox), Meryl Streep (Mrs. Fox), Jason Schwartzman (Ash), Eric Chase Anderson (Kristofferson).

When: Not in theaters, not yet on DVD.

3. Bandslam PG

Why: I know what you're thinking, what is a thirteen year old boy doing at a movie like Bandslam. Well first off, there isn't a movie like Bandslam. It has such a nice indie feel and a great ending. The lead actor is awesome and is totally unknown. This movie came and went which is a shame because it is great. It is a fantastic family film and strangely not a High School Musical cheesy film. It's just awesome.

Who: Todd Graff (director), Gaelan Connell (Will Burton), Alyson Michalka (Charlotte Banks), Vanessa Hudgens (Sa5m, the five is silent).

When: Not in theaters, not yet on DVD.

4. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince PG

Why: I have always been a fan of the Harry Potter movies and books, and this is without a doubt the best of the movie series. It perfectly mixes adolescence and fantasy. You really see how these kids (well, not really kids) have grown into great actors. There is very little of Voldemort in this movie, which is alright. Bottom line - I loved it.

Who: David Yates (director), Daniel Radcliff (Harry Potter), Emma Watson (Hermione Granger), Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley).

When: It isn't in theaters anymore but it is out on DVD.

5. Ponyo G

Why: This movie is Japanese Anime movie. It is definitely a weird break from movies like Up and Toy Story animation wise but, nevertheless, it's great. I loved the animation, it's beautiful. Hayao Miyazaki has a way of making water beautiful and I hope this movie isn't just put down for not being a Pixar movie.

Who: Hayao Miyazaki (director, writer), Noah Cyrus (Ponyo), Frankie Jonas (Sosuke), Tina Fey (Lisa), Matt Damon (Koichi)

When: Not in theaters, not yet on DVD.

So there you have it, my favorite movies of 2009.

Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel

My second review of the week is Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel. This movie as you may have guessed, is a sequel to the first Alvin and the Chipmunks. In this film, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore go to high school for the first time. Dave Seville (Jason Lee) gets hurt at the beginning of the movie (in Paris) and leaves the boys in care of a relative. As fate would have it, she gets hurt and leaves them in care of her son named Toby (Zachary Levi) who is an avid gamer. He takes care of the boys and takes them to school. Alas, the terrible Ian Hawk lost everything in the last movie and now he finds a new group of singing chipmunks, the Chippetts- three female chipmunks-. The Chippetts have always admired the Chipmunks so when they realize that Ian Hawk was their manager they have to have Ian. This movie has a few laughs and young children will love it so I have to say I liked it.

Studio: 20th Century Fox
Director: Betty Thomas
Release: Wide
Release Date: 12/23
On DVD Release: TBD
Recap: B-

Photo Courtesy of 20th Century Fox

Avatar

My first review is about one of the most anticipated movies of the year, Avatar. Avatar is a movie that takes place in a fantasy, insanely real, world called Pandora. That alone is an amazing feat. The main character is an handicapped Marine named Jake. He ventures to Pandora after his brother dies. His brother was going to go to Pandora where he would have been in control of an Avatar body. They needed a biological match and his brother, Jake was a perfect match. So Jake goes to Pandora and he becomes part of the Avatar Project. The Avatar Project is an operation where people can remotely control a body called an Avatar. These Avatar's are ten to twelve feet tall and have tails. Oh yeah, and they're blue. Pretty cool, right? Jake get's into an Avatar body and he goes to the native population called the Na'vi. He has to gain their trust so they will leave their spot in the wild. They have to leave because the earth people want to get a mineral that is worth ten million dollars a kilo. I have to say, visually this movie is fantastic. There isn't a second where you don't think these things are real. As a thirteen-year-old boy, this movie is awesome, the action sequences are awesome, and I really liked it. The performances are pretty great. The casting is perfect. This movie is a great boys night out movie. I would see it again in 3-D. I can't wait for James Cameron (by the way he has a great first name) to make a sequel.

Studio: 20th Century Fox
Director: James Cameron
Release: Wide
Release Date: December 18, 2009
On DVD Release: TBD (can't wait!)
Recap: B


Photo Credit, 20th Century Fox

Movie Reviews with James Gelberg

I'm James Gelberg. I'm a fourteen-year-old movie critic. That's the reason you're here, right? Anyway, this is a website where you can check up on my latest movie reviews. Now I know what's on your mind: what sets me apart from other movie critics? Well, not surprisingly, my reviews are from my point of view- the view of a thirteen-year-old. This website will be updated weekly rain or shine (which I guess doesn't really matter because this is a website and I think you shouldn't be outside while its raining and looking at your laptop.) and it will always be from me, James Gelberg. At the end of the year, two weeks will be devoted to two subjects, the five best movies of the year, and the five worst movies of the year. The following week I'll review all the movies I missed the last two weeks. On the weeks that no movies come out that I can see, I will watch the movies that have won Oscars starting in the 1920's. Now I have to confess... I won't be able to see every movie because, well, I'm thirteen. But nevertheless, I will review the movies I can to the best of my abilities. So without further ado, let's get started.